Fantasy Football Thug Edition
A Team of Rogue Players from the Glorious Game
The talent and commitment involved in getting to the top of the football ladder, into the highest leagues and public eyes must derive from a stern personality and a clear resolve. Unfortunately these attributes and a taste for the illegal are not mutually exclusive.
Starting with the Goalkeeper...
Firstly and most recently adding himself to the halls of fame for bad behaviour is Plymouth Argyle goalkeeper Luke McCormick who in the summer of 2008 killed two young boys in an alcohol fuelled crash on the M6 in Staffordshire. Luke’s contract with PAFC may have through “mutual consent” ended, but he has a place on this team, that is after his 7 year and 2 month sentence is served.
Genuine Geordie Class
Paul “Gazza” Gascoigne now 41 years of age had his glory days at Newcastle United, Tottenham Hotspur and Glasgow Rangers playing in midfield. However in his spare time Gazza was reported to relinquish to the temptations of domestic abuse and alcohol - no wonder the press love him. A sad sight after such a promising career, although some say he could have been better.
The second midfielder currently dons the same black and white stripes that Gazza used to back in the 80’s. Joey Barton is a low level thug who was involved in a couple of violent assaults including one on former teammate Ousmane Dabo. His attempted rehabilitation is surely a moniker so that he can still play for Newcastle without having such a bad image.
Enter the Frenchmen
The next two stars in this truly phenomenal team are both French, both played in fairly similar positions (attacking midfield) and make this team for fairly similar reasons. Eric Cantona, a true legend indeed, but for what reason do football fans remember him by? Clearly a pure talent and goal scoring ability, however Eric Daniel Pierre Cantona did not really find his feet until at Manchester United from 1992-1997.
Cantona makes it here for what was undoubtedly provoked, but violent nonetheless. An incident in 1995 where the Frenchman was sent off for a brutal tackle on a Crystal Palace player followed by what is referred to in the press as a ‘kung-fu style’ flying kick launched at a Palace supporter named Matthew Simmons followed by a rally of punches. Simmons kicked back at the star and was arrested and sentenced to 7 days in prison. Well, he did start it!
The second son of French soil in our team would be Zinedine Zidane who had a fantastic career, but finished it in controversy with the whole world watching in 2006 in the World Cup final. A well placed and powerful head butt to the chest of Italian defender Marco Materazzi saw Zidane sent off and walk past the Cup that France would ultimately lose to Italy.
After an exchange between the two players about Materazzi having Zidane’s shirt after the game, Materazzi insisted that he would prefer Zidane’s “whore of a sister”. This stoked the fires of anger in the belly of the Frenchman who may have sacrificed his team’s chances in the final for a moment of personal vengeance. Clearly both idiots then.
Some South American Flair to Finish!
Diego Maradona, the pesky argentine that foiled England in the 1986 world cup with the legendary Hand Of God incident. If he did handle the ball that makes him a cheat, but that’s a pale accusation compared to the former striker’s extra curricular activities. Coke addiction, numerous detox attempts in rehab, another victim of substance abuse and deterioration, and all well documented in the media. Do these guys have no shame?
So it appears that legendary footballers have two paths after their careers as players as finished. The quiet dignity of becoming a pundit on TV, radio or in a newspaper is one choice; the other path is a paparazzi addled life of controversy and illicit activities. The latter books them a place in this squad.
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